Losing A Loved One Twice

My mother in law was diagnosed with Alzheimers disease a few years back. She lost her battle with that horrible disease Febuary 28. It was a long, hard journey for her and our family. Being a woman of faith, I know I will see her again. This is just a temporary loss of communication. She has simply changed her address to our permanent home. Below is a guest post written by my brother in law, Eric Moore. He is the Sports Editor for our local paper where this article was first published.


Losing someone close to you is the hardest thing you will ever go through, but with Alzheimer's Disease you lose that person twice.

My mother, Jo Ann, recently lost her bout with that horrible disease, but I lost my mom well before she passed away. In the months preceding her death, you could see her mind start to go. The worst part about that part of the disease is that she noticed it too.

There would be days where she would be light-hearted and laughing, and there would be days when she knew the disease was destroying her memory, causing her to burst into tears. Watching her go through this and knowing there was nothing I could do to help her put a pain in me that still exists. 
My mother was my inspiration for a lot of things in life. She nurtured my love of learning and did everything she could to make sure I was always taken care of.

Because of her, I became quite the movie buff. There are few movies made after 1939 that I haven't seen. I had heard how devastating Alzheimer's Disease was, but until you witness it first-hand affecting someone you hold dear, words cannot accurately convey how truly awful it is.

I still remember when I finally allowed myself to believe it was Alzheimer's Disease and not just a case of old age forgetfulness. We were watching one of her favorite movies (we had probably watched it a dozen times before) and I saw this confused look on her face. She asked me what we were watching and when I told her the name of the movie and how it was one of her favorites, she said, "I've never seen this before."

She was adamant in her denial and, in retrospect, she was right. The disease had stripped away all her memories of seeing that movie.

Luckily the one thing the disease did not take from her was the knowledge of her loved ones. In the weeks preceding her death, we received several visitors daily. Our entire family came out to see her one last time and tell her goodbye.

By this point, she had forgotten how to eat, and drinking was difficult for her.But each time someone would walk in to say "hello," she would shine the world's biggest smile and attempt to say something back. There were no words, however. Sounds would come out, but she couldn't form the words she was searching for. You could see in her eyes how happy she was to see all of her family members one last time.

Alzheimer's Disease can cause a lot of damage, and not just to the ones suffering from the disease. My father, brother and I were with her almost constantly up until the end and saw her disappear before our eyes.

She was more than just a mother to me. She was also one of my best friends, and I will miss her terribly. Let your loved ones know how much they mean to you on a daily basis because tomorrow is never promised.